A Moment of Transparency
2020 was a whirlwind!
2020 was the year my eldest turned a teenager.
2020 was the year my husband and I celebrated a decade of marriage.
2020 was the year the world stopped, and time figuratively stood still.
Like most of you, I made BIG plans; expanding my business by offering more videography services, an educational trip to D.C. to the National Museum of African American History, and one of the most epic anniversary trips to the Caribbean you could ever imagine!
As you can imagine, I made plans: big plans, small plans, and plans in between, and the Captain and I were gonna party like it was 1999! Because let's face it, we'd made it! It means we’ve survived the rocky first year, we slid past the sideways 2nd, 3rd and fourth year. We moonwalked past five, and conga lined our way on into a full decade of marriage.
According to google, the the 10th year of marriage is traditionally marked with gift made of tin or aluminum. That’s because both materials represent the durability and flexibility needed to sustain a loving union.
Then COVID hit.
Bringing the world to its knees, and exposing weak points in all of our relationships: familial, personal as well as romantic. If you haven't had the pleasure of being annoyed by your family's idiosyncracies you suddenly found yourself day in and out surrounded them...inundated by them...immersed in them.
And it caused many relationships to falter. Relationships that were new to the fragility and realities of marriage.
Concerned by what I was seeing, I interviewed a group of married couples, from all across the U.S. to hear their tips on how to
But I’m choosing something less shiny, and a lot more valuable to celebrate my tenth…
Advice for those who are just starting out.
At the the turn of the year, I asked dozens of couples who’ve all been married 10 years or more to provide advice and words of wisdom to couples who were still fresh in their journeys, and these were the top ten responses.
1) Always carve out time for one another. Working too much can be detrimental to any marriage,
2) No job is more important than your family.
3) Choose your battles and make them few and far in between.
4) Laugh A LOT!
5) Don't get so absorbed into him or into the marriage that you forget who you are and what you like.
6) Respect and trust are two sides of the same coin. Use them both generously.
7) Make memories instead of worrying about what to get for special days.
8) Listen to understand, not respond.
9) It’s ok to compromise
10) Give one another plenty of space
And a bonus one for the road, COMMUNICATE! Even if it's unintentionally hurtful.